Coming out of hibernation

Tuesday, March 8, 2022

I've been meaning to come back to this space for the past few days now; it's always been on my mind but I never really got to do it. I guess now is the time, as I sit with my legs crossed on the floor, laptop resting on my lap, my back leaning on the wall. 

I know it in myself that when things are good, I tend to just live in the moment and not care so much about the documentation. Whenever I do think about it though, I do the bare minimum of writing some details down on my journal. Sometimes it's just a sentence, most times it's a rambling paragraph so I won't forget. 

Today I attended our office town hall virtually via Zoom. They spoke of plans to return to office, and there was even a virtual tour of how the office looks like now. It made me think of the past 2 years, as if I underwent hibernation (I say hibernation as it was hard to find significantly remarkable events during this time). It's still surreal, as I tried to welcome the reality that some day soon, we'll be easing back into in-person work. 

Nothing comes to mind immediately when I think of the 2 years that went by, but I'm sure you'd agree that it would be unlike any of the other years we've lived through. I realize though, that I'm thankful I documented most, if not all, the things I've done, learned, and experienced in this blog. It's where I go back to when I somehow feel lost or I just need to remind myself of things I already know.

Reading through my older entries reminded me of the struggles I faced when the pandemic started. Although of course I didn't rant openly on here, writing everything else helped me cope. I was drowning myself with work and felt the need to always be available online. The amount of work and the pressure I placed upon myself made me feel like I aged plus ten years haha. I think the most significant change is how I've become more conscientious. I feel it in my bones, the need to be on top of everything. I would attribute this mostly with the work environment wherein I'm surrounded by highly driven professionals who are always at the top of their game. I needed to keep up and maintain a strong work ethic. 

Then eventually I realized that working too much and resting too little was not sustainable, so I started taking more time off. It was during this time that I learned the value of taking time off and being comfortable with it. I also learned to unplug and disconnect from my screen from time to time. It was hard, as it was my means for connection to the outside world, but I had to. 

It was during my times offline when I'd tune in to myself and my hobbies. Tuning into myself meant being real with what I felt at the time. Hobbies kept me going, and it still does; I think whenever I'm fully engaged in something I truly love and enjoy, this is where my true and authentic self thrives. So I keep creating, I keep doing, and being and sharing to everyone and anyone about the things I love doing. I'd like to think that we find strength in knowing more about ourselves and our gifts, and we further nurture it by imparting it to others. 

Then eventually I started crafting my routines. I started becoming a full fledged morning person by sleeping early and waking up early. I started going out for more walks. Walking has always been the one activity that kept me sane. I've gone on many walks way back when I was a teenager, but didn't have the time when I entered college, and most definitely did not take as much of them when I started working. 

But now I walk as much as I can; it has led me to meeting new people, it made me more observant of my surroundings, and it made me grateful to be where I am. Who knew that there was so much beauty right here, from where I live? Chance encounters keep us going. 


What will I keep from this two year hibernation? I would definitely keep them all--  the genuine connections, walking, waking up early, hobbies, taking notes of the small but certain happiness.. they are the stuff of life. I know these things will still be worth my while. 

I hope to be more open as well. I need to switch off my work brain when my work shift has ended, and just simply.. be open to anything else that could happen. 

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Thank you for reading my ramblings. I wish you a good morning or night, wherever you are : - )


2 comments

  1. i know i've said this via ig, but imma say it again: i'm so happy you're back! your blog is one of my favourite places to visit on the internet. every time i have a hard time starting a blog entry, or when i feel uninspired, i like to blog hop and i find myself always revisiting yours (one of them, that is).

    i always wonder if i'll ever take the time to just...unplug. instead, i keep on pressuring myself to achieve more because i constantly feel like i'm not doing enough. there's only 24 hours in a day, yet i always tell myself i need to work and finish a video game and a movie and a blog post, yadda yadda yadda. clearly i'm the worst when it comes to taking care of me. i'm not sure why (just kidding, i know why – i'm always on the "go" mode, sigh) i hope someday i can take a long break and not feel guilty about it. someday.

    anyway, can't wait to read more upcoming posts from you!



    x, √Člise

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    Replies
    1. Hey Elise, thanks so much for dropping by, and I'm glad to know that you find my entries inspiring. I think you've written more than I have so far this year, and I admire you for that!

      I know how you feel about wanting to be preoccupied all the time, I'm so guilty with this. It has come to point where I'm beginning to lose interest in the things I do.. I think I'll be writing more about this soon. But I really think that it doesn't hurt to spend some time to just lay in bed, stare at the ceiling, and do nothing. I need to have more of these moments. Rooting for you on this, hope you'll be able to take a good long break :)

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