After Work Dates

Thursday, September 5, 2019

We all need to go on dates, and it's not necessarily always the romantic kind.

Friend dates are awesome, especially after work, when your brain cells are already messed up. I see it as an avenue to unwind, and it gives me something to look forward to after hustling the whole day. Our conversations tend to be more candid, so strikingly raw, yet there's always something to take home with you right after.

I met up with Shekinah Bongco this week. It's probably the first time we met outside of college, and definitely the first time we met again, now as young professionals. As soon as we both settled down at the cafe, our stories started flowing out. There was much to catch up on as we tried to make sense of our post grad lives. We learned much about each other's struggles, meaningful victories, and gave our own insights on how we saw each other as we are now. We've grown so much; sometimes we don't see it on our own, but when we sit down and share about everything we've experienced with a good friend, we realize things in a fresh new perspective. It encourages us to do more, and perhaps, to be more.

We shared as well about our passions, mainly on writing. Many thoughts and questions spun our conversations around, ranging from what we want to write about and our fears on sharing.

I personally think we can write about anything, as long as it's close to our hearts. It's cheesy, but sincerity can be felt through the kind of words we choose to use. For me, it's easy to find the words I need when it stems directly from personal experience and mixing it together with my own insights. I want to write and share in its simplest form; raw and without the frills. I would want to write it the way I want to say it, as if we're simply having a chit chat.

To be honest, it took me time to get comfortable with sharing about my blog to others. More than the self promotion though, and as much as I don't want to think of it in that sense, I know that my intention more than anything is to simply share the kind of writing I love. It's the kind of writing I myself would want to read at the end of the day, or during idle times. I want to connect with you, dear reader.

We realized as well how we kept starting our words with "I want". It made me realize how much we want to do so many things, we have so much ideas, so what's stopping us now from doing them?

After my conversations with Shek, I realized much of what we do should start with the intention. Sometimes it's good to check in and remind ourselves with our intentions, as this is the driving force of wanting to do what we do. I think instead of asking ourselves Is this something people would like? I would rather ask myself, is this something that would somehow add value to readers? Will it encourage, will it uplift? Will it spark a conversation? It's better to concern ourselves with building each other up rather than the focusing on the desire of being liked.

And then there's the kind of date that you go on, the one with yourself. On random days, when I feel like it and when I have extra cash, I go out to eat alone. This week, I decided to eat in a Vietnamese restaurant I would always pass by on my way home.

It was a quiet place, with just the occasional customers coming and going. I think Vietnamese food is such a homey cuisine. Dining here made me think of wanting a restaurant of my own some day. Although I may not have the entrepreneurial mind for that, but it's just a nice idea to have a restaurant at the ground floor of your house right?

You can say that I'm very much hung up on this certain country and culture. I especially like their food, and while others may think it's too simple for their taste buds, I would say that their food is real. I would choose real food over fast food. It's just been like this for me all these years, eating vegetables and not having soy sauce on my Chicken Adobo, so it wasn't hard for me to love Vietnamese cuisine.

Over the years, I've grown to become a low maintenance friend. I don't need to see my friends all the time for me to say that our friendship is strong. I know and understand how we all have our own priorities now as young adults, and I have my own. Alongside the acceptance of this truth, I've also grown to love my own company. I like moments of being alone because that's when I'm able to process my thoughts, I can train myself in making my own decisions, and I'm able to know myself more.

It's during my times alone that I get to know what we really want without the influence of others. I also get to go out of my own comfort zone, even in the smallest ways such as choosing what I want to have for dinner, or if I want to go home early or stay out late, what kind of ice cream flavor I want to try out, and so on.

Another take away from this night of dating myself: I want to hunt down all the other Vietnamese restaurants around Manila because I'm sick of fast food and Samgyupsal. Well, not that I eat those often, but here is finally a cuisine that can more or less match the kind of diet I normally have.


Dear reader, how are you? I hope you're well. Date your family, your friends, your significant other, and of course, yourself. ♡♡♡♡♡♡



  1. Friend dates and self dates are so important! I really like your intentions for writing and I think it makes a huge impact on what people create. You seem like you are in a really good place and now I think I definitely need more quiet time like this ♡

    1. Thank you dear! ♡♡ quiet times are great times to refocus and center ourselves. Hope you're doing great!!

  2. I totally agree with you about meeting friends. I don't see my friends often too, more like once a month sometimes once every 2-3 months. But those time apart, we sure have so many things to talk about. Whenever we meet, we surely talk until we lost track of time.

    I go on a self-date a lot. I hate being lonely but I enjoy being alone. I don't have to wait for anyone, I don't have to think about others etc and I'd definitely appreciate myself more.

    1. I think it's great to have such dates with friends; it doesn't have to be often since we have our own priorities now, but definitely making time to see each other once in a while is always good.

      I totally agree with you on your sentiments with self-dates!! <3